See Also: MANNERS

1. About as risqué as a bed in a hospital —George Jean Nathan
2. All wrong … like a priest for whom one has a great respect suddenly taking his trousers off in church —Daphne du Maurier
3. Decorously as an old maid on the way to get her hair dyed blue —A. E. Maxwell
4. Improper as thumbing your nose at the pope —Anon
5. Prim as Hippolytus —Stevie Smith
6. (Girls, at sixteen, for all our strictures, are) proper as Puritans —Phyllis McGinley
7. Proper like the hostesses in restaurants frequented by women shoppers —Ludwig Bemelmans

beyond the pale Beyond the limits of propriety or courtesy; outside the bounds of civilized behavior. The word pale comes from the Latin palus ‘stake’ (cf. palisade), hence an enclosing or confining barrier; limits or boundaries. The phrase originally had a more literal meaning (still sometimes used today) ‘outside an enclosed area’ and by extension, ‘outside one’s jurisdiction or territory.’

cross [someone’s] bows See VEXATION.

do you know Dr. Wright of Norwich? A mildly sarcastic comment made to someone at a dinner party who does not pass the decanter, preventing other guests from helping themselves to wine. The popular story which gives the background for this British expression involves a man known as Dr. Wright of Norwich, a charming guest and gifted conversationalist. Asking a dinner guest, “Do you know Dr. Wright of Norwich?” implies that the person is holding up the decanter, as Dr. Wright was wont to do, but unlike the good Doctor, not compensating for this breach of manners by entertaining the company with enlivening conversation.

gate crasher One who attends a social affair, athletic event, etc., without the proper admission credentials; an uninvited, unwanted guest. This expression has entered into wide use among the youthful, concert-going crowd in reference to their more belligerent peers who sneak or force their ways into crowded rock concerts. The term is literally used for persons who gain entry to an event by actually smashing down barriers. The phrase has been in use for most of this century.

pigs in clover Well-to-do and supposedly refined people who act in a boorish manner; parvenus. Figuratively, a pig is a person with the characteristics or habits commonly associated with that animal, while in clover implies luxury or wealth; hence the expression. See also in clover, AFFLUENCE.

put one’s foot in one’s mouth To say something inappropriate, gauche, or indiscreet; to commit a verbal faux pas. This expression implies that by saying something out of line, a person has figuratively put his foot in his mouth, an imprudent and untoward activity in any situation. A variation is put one’s foot in it.

A related, more contemporary expression is foot-in-mouth disease, a play on hoof-and-mouth disease of cattle, and a jocular reference to an affliction in which a person exhibits a marked tendency to constantly “put his foot in his mouth.”

sail close to the wind To act in a manner that verges on the illegal, immoral, or improper; to say or do something that borders on being in bad taste; to observe the letter but not the spirit of the law. Literally, to sail close to the wind is to head one’s ship into the wind at enough of an angle to keep the sails filled. This is a risky tactic as the ship is in constant danger of being in irons if there is even a slight change in the wind direction. Figuratively, this expression implies that one’s words or actions put him in a precarious position because they are so close to the limits of propriety.

A variation is sail near to the wind.

step on toes To upset, offend, or irritate, especially by encroaching on someone’s territory; to overstep one’s bounds. Literally stepping on someone’s toes is a violation of space or territory. On a figurative level, the “territory” usually refers to one’s area of responsibility or realm of authority. The expression is often said of an upstart who prematurely assumes authority or responsibility delegated to someone else. An OED citation dates the expression from the 14th century, but whether the use was literal or figurative is difficult to determine.