wear the trousers
From Longman Dictionary of Contemporary Englishwear the trouserswear the trousersBritish English, wear the pants American English informalDECIDE to be the person in a family who makes the decisions → wearExamples from the Corpuswear the trousers• In her wake came the likes of Chrissie Hynde, who found it easier just to wear the trousers.• And contrary to popular belief, we don't want to wear the trousers at home.• I think you should talk to Pat - she's the one who wears the trousers in that household.