But when we didn't send a card for his son's birthday, he called and asked why.

Instead, send a card and a cheque, and invite them for a lower-key catch-up.

She didn't send a card or gift when it was his birthday.

So send that card, write a two-line email, repeat that off-hand compliment.

Just one in six of us now send a card, against 60 per cent who text and 39 per cent who call home.